Chocolate Lime Wine Coolers continued...

After my boyfriend finished his second wine cooler (chocolate wine, limade and strawberry fizzy water), and his second plate of fatty foods, with a side of espresso chip ice cream...


I asked, "hey, do you wanna watch 'sex and the city', you're kinda eating like you're pregnant"

He said no, and went back to watching the Red Sox destroy the Yankees, 

and I went back to my beer and painting my toe nails mauve.

Summer lovin' had me some (fried) clams

Girls spent their spring obsessing about what they were doing/eating/not eating/etc. in order to look omg super hot come bikini season. I took it all in and I listened with a grain of salt (pork), and a beer.

I listen to the latest diet craze during the morning news about what makes you fat, what makes you thin, and what makes you feel your best.  I usually have a Mrs.Dunster's doughnut hole wedged between my cheek and teeth as I slurp down coffee so strong I have to stir it with a fork.

These trendy diets are mostly a pain in the ass with no results.

I'm no Twiggy, but I'm no Ms. Piggy...some kind of happy medium, and most of these girls complaining about their diets are closer to the Twigster than the Pigster.

All I'm trying to say is this:

Summer foods are awesome!

There are few times during the year that fried clams at Two Lights taste so damn good! Especially on a hot day, with a cold beer, looking out over the open ocean and sharing laughs with friends that I wouldn't trade them for a butt load of Bunchen. No Giselle? Oh well.

Nothing hits the spot like a cold beer, red hot hot dogs with grilled onions and French's yellow mustard...

Who can say no to inch thick burgers with onion rings, BBQ sauce, bacon, swiss cheese and dill pickles?

Summer is not the time to fast! Summer is the time to feast!  

I'm not saying you should eat these foods all day, everyday, but enjoy them when you do and stop counting calories (math is hard).
I'm not endorsing the 'Man v. Food' diet, when the food always seems to win, and all he seems to win are a couple of added inches to his waistline (I also find this show to be everything that is wrong with American culture, but that's a post for another time)

Time to get off my anti-diet soap box, and back into the pool...

with a six pack and a Whoopie Pie.

Like chocolate wine...17, with limade and ice,

Like chocolate wine and seventeen 

The mix of limade changed everything 

My first taste of love oh bittersweet 

Green in the face

It was the chocolate wine

I wrote this song (stole this song) in honor of my boyfriends dinner:

Pirogies, salt pork, bbq sauce, all washed down with chocolate wine and limeade

The song is an attempted mockery of Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter
Note it's 85 degrees, who isn't craving hot potato pirogies and salt pork?

Opportunity/Shmoppertunity

Third handed disappointment at not having a third hand, but actually a hardened tendon squeezing itself along a nerve, alls well that end wells, I've been kicked out of the kitchen, put on worker's comp and I've entered every chef's nightmare...

No, not that one with the scary ass horses, 

this one...

The dreaded 9-5, M-F, desk job

In the dungeon of the restaurant I dust flour from our adjoining bakery, organize paperwork, rewrite employer manuals, and more organizing.  Jokes on them, they don't know how anal retentive I can be, the lists I can make, the plans I have...

My boyfriend, of the banana omelette degree has fallen in love with this, his lunches are now prepared on Sunday and organized in Tupperware to coordinate with each day.  I'm like a Mother F***ing Stewart, and no it's not a "good thing".

Truth be told, it's my only creative outlet, they can keep me out of the kitchen, but they can't keep me from cooking, Tupperware lunches, and dinners at home are now my vice, running home, creating mise en place, eating delicious and sadly well balanced meals.  What's become of me?!

This weeks lunches consisted of:

Cold shrimp pad thai with asparagus and pickled ginger

Pasta pesto salad with spinach and goat cheese

Egg Salad sandwiches

PBJ, granola bar, apple 

Cobb Salad: avocado, bacon, tomato, grilled chicken, lettuce, hard boiled egg, maple mustard vinaigrette

I'm self disgusted.

Welcome Back Jesus/Last Meal

I challenged my friend at  Classic Noise (a fantastic fashion blog) to do the following:

In honor (?) of the Rapture (where Jesus sneaks back to earth, works ninja style for about five months, and something and picking and choosing who's been naughty and who's been nice and then ending the world in five months...or something along those lines, I'm a lapsed catholic I'm fairly certain I missed the boat on this one...)
What would you wear as to Jesus' Welcome Back Party? Would it be festive, would it be somber, would it be tasteful...
In that same vein...what would you wear for your last day on earth?

now my turn

Welcome Back Jesus

First off I think I'd play the greatest hits of Motown, because they're classic, everyone loves them, and for the most part, I doubt he'd be offended.

To be cheeky I'd probably serve Deviled Eggs, and in contrast I'd make Angel Food Cake for dessert.  In the middle, hell, I'd probably just make a pizza, because everyone loves pizza, maybe along the lines of a pizza and prosecco party, that way everyone can choose their own topping and Jesus can show off some mad skills, which I'm assuming he still has.

My Last Meal

There's too much to choose from, poutine with foie gras gravy? the most delicious burger with the world's best fries and vanilla milkshake? or steak with fries, salad, and chocolate profiteroles with a great glass of red wine for dessert?

OR

Starter:

Poutine with foie gras gravy

THEN

the most delicious burger with the world's best fries and vanilla milkshake

AND THEN

I have no idea. Never been one for desserts. I'd probably be too full anyways...

A Cook's Books

A day off is often spent by rearranging furniture, scrubbing with murphy's oil soap (my friend went to the prom with the heir, i went to prom with an younger/older/fatter elvis, i was less than shook up), and reorganizing cookbooks...just me then?
Looking through all of my cookbooks, and reorganizing them, I got to thinking about my old obsession of constantly buying cookbooks.
At first I raided my mother's massive collection of Jaques Pepin, Julia Child, and Joyce Chen.  It was followed by my grandmother giving me all of her french cookbooks from her days in the convent.  I then became technical, "culinary artistry", "what to drink with what you eat", "what Einstein told his cook".  This was followed by everything Bourdain and Kurlansky, quickly followed by everything Maine: "The secret life of lobsters", anything by Jasper White, and L.L. Bean (the man, not the store). 

I then collected the Culinaria series, the WHOLE Culinaria series.
I now collect, "French Feasts", "Pork and Sons" and "Au pied de cochon".  That's right I've moved onto Food Porn, not the tall food, with pictures of smoke, and fumes, essences,  the microscopic food, where you need a magnifying glass to see...I go for the River Cottage style, "here's the pig in the field" to "here's the pig in your stew"
Nothing fancy, everything good, delicious, sometimes toying with you, making you curse that you can't comfortably eat pictures. 

Chicken as a Color

A good friend of mine spent some time teaching English as a second language.  My favorite story was the day she was asking her class for synonyms for the color beige.  Tan was nominated, light brown was declared and from the back of the room, someone offered up "chicken".  

At first we laughed at the idea of painting a room the color chicken, but then we got into the details, was it raw or roasted? More pink or more brown in it's undertones...Egg Shell is a famous color, why not Chicken Flesh?

This topic of beige rolled over into another question on the mind of everyone, 

If all their food is in shades of beige, is it a bad restaurant (chicken, potatoes, gravy)
I heard someone say this about Swiss Chalet once

Is there truth to this statement?  I know that food with more color is better for you, the most colorful fruits and vegetables are higher in vitamins.  And I'm not advocating that we all go to Swiss Chalet a very beige/chicken - color forward menu, however I find myself often craving and missing the Quebec answer to the Chalet, St. Hubert.  Many winter nights were spent ordering three piece chicken and fries (I get it, you're judging me, I'm a chef at high end restaurants and I crave chicken ordered in multiples of three, and fried potatoes, leave me alone)

Beige ain't so bad...