Porking and Seating

Cole Nadeauposted toLeslie Masterpaul

Hi Lady

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    Leslie Masterpaul Hello!

    9 minutes ago ·
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    Cole Nadeau Tonight is my first night as a hostess/FOH AM, I need your words of advice and discouragement

    8 minutes ago ·
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    Leslie Masterpaul Oh dear. Okay. Well, be smiley. Be pretty. YOU are the face of (Insert Restaurant Name Here). Pretend you care. Don't make a face when they don't like your table because it's too hot/cold/close to the kitchen/far from the kitchen/not in the middle/too close to another table/too far away from everything/wobbly/"a bad table." Just ask them where they'd like to sit (assuming these are your early diners). Don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry this table is reserved for another reservation" and encourage them to specify seating needs in the future.

    3 minutes ago · · 1 person
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    Leslie Masterpaul Let's see what else...Michael A. D. Kittle?

    3 minutes ago ·
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    Leslie Masterpaul And don't take things personally. You aren't the producer of food this time, you're the liaison to make things better.

    2 minutes ago ·
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    Leslie Masterpaul We should write a book. Porking and Seating: Our experience in a restaurant.

    2 minutes ago · · 1 person
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    Leslie Masterpaul OMG NOT porking!

    2 minutes ago · · 1 person
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    Leslie Masterpaul PORK.

    2 minutes ago ·
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    Cole Nadeau LOL!!!! I am saving this conversation forever.

    2 minutes ago ·
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    Leslie Masterpaul I thought about deleting the initial comment and starting over but it's kind of too funny to do that.

    about a minute ago ·
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    Cole Nadeau no you leave that shit. that shit is gold. i should probably stop swearing.

    about a minute ago ·
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    Leslie Masterpaul Does this mean I'm going to make your blog again??

    32 seconds ago ·
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    Cole Nadeau This whole discussion started so sweetly...i knew it wouldn't last

    12 seconds ago ·
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    Cole Nadeau and yes

    11 seconds ago ·
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    Cole Nadeau you do make the blog again

    7 seconds ago ·
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  Write a comment...

Herbapalooza!

Sarah Bromby did a fantastic job teaching Sunday's Learning Lunch...here's a list of the herbs we used and their healing powers...

Lavender
Parts Used: Flowers
A wonderful plant for the nervous system, lavender helps alleviate stress, nervousness,
insomnia, muscle tension, headaches and depression. It has the ability to relieve muscle
spasms, thus helpful in treated muscle aches and cramps, both menstrual and abdominal.
When applied externally, it helps relieve sunburns, inflammation and wounds, such as
insect bites.

Rosemary
Parts Used: Leaves
Rosemary is one of the plants most praised for its effect on the circulatory system. It
helps stimulate circulation, which is beneficial to the entire body. Helping the body stay
warm, rosemary is an ideal plant to take in the winter months, especially for those who
often have cold extremities or are suffering from respiratory congestion. It helps the
mind stay focused and helps the memory because it increases circulation to the brain. It
stimulates hair growth and helps relieve muscle pain.

Peppermint
Parts Used: Leaves and flowers
Peppermint has a beautifully refreshing effect and is typically used to treat the digestive
system. It also has a wonderful effect on the respiratory system and is used in cases of
colds, bronchitis, sinusitis or asthma. Peppermint, as well as other members of the mint
family, is rich in vitamin C, beta-carotene and chlorophyll. The oil can be used to relieve
sore muscles and skin disorders, such as rashes.

Lemon balm
Parts Used: Leaves and flowers
Lemon balm is a plant that helps balance moods and emotions. It helps people go with
the flow, bringing a positive outlook on life. Lemon balm is often used to treat tension,
stress, depression, anxiety, mental fatigue, PMS and insomnia. As a member of the mint
family, lemon balm also helps in treating digestive disorders.

Basil
Parts Used: Leaves, stems and flowers
Basil is a popular herb to use in the kitchen but many don’t know that it has strong
antispasmodic properties, making it a great remedy for digestive disorders. It has a
particular affinity to both the digestive and nervous system, especially when there are
digestive problems caused by stress or headaches/migraines caused by digestive issues.

Fennel
Parts Used: Primarily the seeds, but the root can be used as well.

A wonderful digestive aid, fennel treats abdominal cramps, indigestion, nausea,
flatulence and helps stimulate the appetite. It helps increase breast milk for nursing
mothers and is an excellent remedy to relieve colic in babies.

Thyme
Parts Used: Leaves, stems and flowers
Thyme helps boost the immune system by stimulating the thymus gland. It is extremely
helpful in treating lung problems and convulsive coughs because of its antispasmodic
properties. Its antiseptic and antibacterial properties make it a good choice for treating
sore throats and head colds. It also helps the digestive system in cases of gas and bloating
due to poor absorption of foods.

Nasturtiums
Parts Used: Flowers, leaves and seeds
Nasturtium has fantastic antiseptic properties, making it an effective herb for treating
infections. It has such strong antibacterial actions that it can be qualified as a natural
antibiotic. Nasturtium helps stimulate circulation and has a particular affinity with the
respiratory system and is useful in treating allergies colds, bronchitis and pneumonia. The
flowers and leaves help digestion and the seeds can be used to treat constipation.

Oregano
Parts Used: Leaves and stems
Because of its antiviral and antibacterial properties, oregano has the ability to fight
infections, whether they are related to the respiratory system (bronchitis, laryngitis
and sinusitis) or the skin. Oil of oregano is particularly effective in treating infections.
Oregano also helps treat digestive and muscle spasms.

Chives
Parts Used: Stems
Chives have similar properties as garlic but are less potent. They have antiseptic
properties and help digestion and help treat the respiratory system.

Cumin seeds
Parts Used: Seeds
Cumin seeds help improve digestion by stimulating digestive enzymes. Its carminative
properties help treat and prevent abdominal gas. The seeds can be chewed after meals to
promote digestion.

Hot peppers (Cayenne)
Parts Used: The fruit
Cayenne is a powerful stimulant for the circulatory system and a wonderful tonic for
the heart. It also improves digestion and treats the respiratory system due to its antiviral
and antibacterial properties. Cayenne has the ability to stop bleeding both internally
and externally. It helps stimulate the immune system and can be used externally to treat
arthritis and muscle pains.

Parsley
Parts Used: Whole plant
Parsley is a very nourishing herb as it is high in iron, beta-carotene and chlorophyll. It
is a diuretic (increases urination) therefore it is a crucial herb for treating bladder and
kidney problems. Because parsley is high in iron, it’s great for treating anemia and
fatigue.

Food Quotes

"If it isn't lime-infused, it's not food." "I made lavender ice-cream. How did it taste? The most accurate description would be to say it tasted pretty." "I dropped out of cooking college because I was hungry. Hungry for food that didn't taste like it was made by students." "Sure, it tastes great, but it's ugly. Make it less ugly." "Actually this cat has a particularly refined palette. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one." "You can make a sandwich, yes - but you cannot cook a sandwich. We cook things here, and you should be prepared for that." "Bacon is transcendent." "What is that? I see. I will temporarily reserve judgement and give you more time."

Stealing from my own blog...

Down on the farm...

It's been pure chaos recently, and the best kind of friends to have when things get tough are farm friends.

Turkey Hill Farm is a beautiful piece of land, complete with alpacas, an attack duck, rows and rows of vegetables and a wood fired oven. We shared delicious beer, home made pizza dough and garden fresh toppings: it was beautiful, relaxing and inspiring.

Take that farm to table movement,
we brought our table to the farm!

Food Art

What artists do if given wire and household objects and too much time on their hands! You say tomato, I say tomato.  You say potatoes, I say zombies. Fruit with life experience Zombies are nuts about brains Modest pear Literary interpretations Paper training our little dog, Frank.

the 5 commandments of cole

Having decided to take upwards of twenty jobs, watching my face and resume get plastered about town in a weak attempt to become a local celebrity, I've ignored my sweet sweet blog of the Banana Omelettes variety...you'll most likely find me blogging now at Decadent Maine, promoting my cooking classes, foodie trolley tours and various workshops featuring cheese, herbs, and wine.  Though it's been fun, and has been a nice transition from not working to overworking, I miss my sarcastic, embittered, "witty" fun on my original blog.

I've realized that my cooking style follows certain guidelines...commandments if you will...

1. Simplify, simplify
I stole that one from Henry David Thoreau.  Food doesn't need to be complicated.  Keep it simple, which leads me into my next commandment
2.  Keep it fresh!
This allows you to better apply rule 1, if you have the best product, then you don't need to do much to make it delicious.  A perfect fresh scallop only needs a little sea salt
3. Keep it local
The farther your food travels, the more tired it tastes, the more chances it has of being less delicious.  We all have had that experience of something fresh from the garden, warmed by the sun...few things are better.
4. Respect the food.
This ties into my earlier rules, I've gotten to know a lot of farmers, foragers, and fishermen in my day, and these guys take such pride in their work and their product that it seems downright rude to disrespect their efforts by an overly complicated sauce.  Keep it simple, honor your producers.  The farmers are the true chefs.
5. Read. Study. Learn.
If you're SO determined to do something with effort, beyond proper seasoning, then study, know your stuff.  One of the best ways to approach a new style of cooking is to study the history of the ingredient, find it's origin and then follow it around the world, it will allow you to rethink preparations, I call it true fusion.  Look at how the history of the world has had an impact on different cuisines, look at how they've influenced one another, don't be random. Be smart.

Snobbery and tastings

Allagash "Victoria" Belgian Ale tastes like Welch's Grape Juice.  I've said it before, I'll say it again.  I actually announced this loudly during the brew tour, one of those awkward moments when everyone goes silent and you can't control the volume of your voice. I took a sip "TASTES LIKE WELCH'S", a murmur ran through the crowd, "oh it does..it really does", the tour guide denied me any more tastings, and refused to answer any and all questions I may have had.
Note, this isn't necessarily a bad thing...some people might like their beer to be fruity, reminiscent of snack time, or peanut butter sandwiches, I don't, but some might.

Cold River Gin tastes like Pine-sol and maple syrup.

I once ate Foie Gras sauce that tasted like pizza goldfish

Cranberry bisque that tasted like Christmas

Blueberry Lavender Ice Cream just tastes pretty

I don't use the fancy terms, the high end definitions, I use what I know, I describe in truths, not snobberies.

and I don't judge my boyfriend who was craving foie gras, promised to take me on a date for foie and wine, and ended up ordering a whopper at lunch declaring it cured his craving.

Foie + Gras = Fat Liver

Unknown animal biproduct (possibly liver) + Fat = Whopper

Ergo

Foie Gras = Whopper

I'm lovin' it.

Chocolate Lime Wine Coolers continued...

After my boyfriend finished his second wine cooler (chocolate wine, limade and strawberry fizzy water), and his second plate of fatty foods, with a side of espresso chip ice cream...


I asked, "hey, do you wanna watch 'sex and the city', you're kinda eating like you're pregnant"

He said no, and went back to watching the Red Sox destroy the Yankees, 

and I went back to my beer and painting my toe nails mauve.

Summer lovin' had me some (fried) clams

Girls spent their spring obsessing about what they were doing/eating/not eating/etc. in order to look omg super hot come bikini season. I took it all in and I listened with a grain of salt (pork), and a beer.

I listen to the latest diet craze during the morning news about what makes you fat, what makes you thin, and what makes you feel your best.  I usually have a Mrs.Dunster's doughnut hole wedged between my cheek and teeth as I slurp down coffee so strong I have to stir it with a fork.

These trendy diets are mostly a pain in the ass with no results.

I'm no Twiggy, but I'm no Ms. Piggy...some kind of happy medium, and most of these girls complaining about their diets are closer to the Twigster than the Pigster.

All I'm trying to say is this:

Summer foods are awesome!

There are few times during the year that fried clams at Two Lights taste so damn good! Especially on a hot day, with a cold beer, looking out over the open ocean and sharing laughs with friends that I wouldn't trade them for a butt load of Bunchen. No Giselle? Oh well.

Nothing hits the spot like a cold beer, red hot hot dogs with grilled onions and French's yellow mustard...

Who can say no to inch thick burgers with onion rings, BBQ sauce, bacon, swiss cheese and dill pickles?

Summer is not the time to fast! Summer is the time to feast!  

I'm not saying you should eat these foods all day, everyday, but enjoy them when you do and stop counting calories (math is hard).
I'm not endorsing the 'Man v. Food' diet, when the food always seems to win, and all he seems to win are a couple of added inches to his waistline (I also find this show to be everything that is wrong with American culture, but that's a post for another time)

Time to get off my anti-diet soap box, and back into the pool...

with a six pack and a Whoopie Pie.

Like chocolate wine...17, with limade and ice,

Like chocolate wine and seventeen 

The mix of limade changed everything 

My first taste of love oh bittersweet 

Green in the face

It was the chocolate wine

I wrote this song (stole this song) in honor of my boyfriends dinner:

Pirogies, salt pork, bbq sauce, all washed down with chocolate wine and limeade

The song is an attempted mockery of Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter
Note it's 85 degrees, who isn't craving hot potato pirogies and salt pork?

Opportunity/Shmoppertunity

Third handed disappointment at not having a third hand, but actually a hardened tendon squeezing itself along a nerve, alls well that end wells, I've been kicked out of the kitchen, put on worker's comp and I've entered every chef's nightmare...

No, not that one with the scary ass horses, 

this one...

The dreaded 9-5, M-F, desk job

In the dungeon of the restaurant I dust flour from our adjoining bakery, organize paperwork, rewrite employer manuals, and more organizing.  Jokes on them, they don't know how anal retentive I can be, the lists I can make, the plans I have...

My boyfriend, of the banana omelette degree has fallen in love with this, his lunches are now prepared on Sunday and organized in Tupperware to coordinate with each day.  I'm like a Mother F***ing Stewart, and no it's not a "good thing".

Truth be told, it's my only creative outlet, they can keep me out of the kitchen, but they can't keep me from cooking, Tupperware lunches, and dinners at home are now my vice, running home, creating mise en place, eating delicious and sadly well balanced meals.  What's become of me?!

This weeks lunches consisted of:

Cold shrimp pad thai with asparagus and pickled ginger

Pasta pesto salad with spinach and goat cheese

Egg Salad sandwiches

PBJ, granola bar, apple 

Cobb Salad: avocado, bacon, tomato, grilled chicken, lettuce, hard boiled egg, maple mustard vinaigrette

I'm self disgusted.

Welcome Back Jesus/Last Meal

I challenged my friend at  Classic Noise (a fantastic fashion blog) to do the following:

In honor (?) of the Rapture (where Jesus sneaks back to earth, works ninja style for about five months, and something and picking and choosing who's been naughty and who's been nice and then ending the world in five months...or something along those lines, I'm a lapsed catholic I'm fairly certain I missed the boat on this one...)
What would you wear as to Jesus' Welcome Back Party? Would it be festive, would it be somber, would it be tasteful...
In that same vein...what would you wear for your last day on earth?

now my turn

Welcome Back Jesus

First off I think I'd play the greatest hits of Motown, because they're classic, everyone loves them, and for the most part, I doubt he'd be offended.

To be cheeky I'd probably serve Deviled Eggs, and in contrast I'd make Angel Food Cake for dessert.  In the middle, hell, I'd probably just make a pizza, because everyone loves pizza, maybe along the lines of a pizza and prosecco party, that way everyone can choose their own topping and Jesus can show off some mad skills, which I'm assuming he still has.

My Last Meal

There's too much to choose from, poutine with foie gras gravy? the most delicious burger with the world's best fries and vanilla milkshake? or steak with fries, salad, and chocolate profiteroles with a great glass of red wine for dessert?

OR

Starter:

Poutine with foie gras gravy

THEN

the most delicious burger with the world's best fries and vanilla milkshake

AND THEN

I have no idea. Never been one for desserts. I'd probably be too full anyways...

A Cook's Books

A day off is often spent by rearranging furniture, scrubbing with murphy's oil soap (my friend went to the prom with the heir, i went to prom with an younger/older/fatter elvis, i was less than shook up), and reorganizing cookbooks...just me then?
Looking through all of my cookbooks, and reorganizing them, I got to thinking about my old obsession of constantly buying cookbooks.
At first I raided my mother's massive collection of Jaques Pepin, Julia Child, and Joyce Chen.  It was followed by my grandmother giving me all of her french cookbooks from her days in the convent.  I then became technical, "culinary artistry", "what to drink with what you eat", "what Einstein told his cook".  This was followed by everything Bourdain and Kurlansky, quickly followed by everything Maine: "The secret life of lobsters", anything by Jasper White, and L.L. Bean (the man, not the store). 

I then collected the Culinaria series, the WHOLE Culinaria series.
I now collect, "French Feasts", "Pork and Sons" and "Au pied de cochon".  That's right I've moved onto Food Porn, not the tall food, with pictures of smoke, and fumes, essences,  the microscopic food, where you need a magnifying glass to see...I go for the River Cottage style, "here's the pig in the field" to "here's the pig in your stew"
Nothing fancy, everything good, delicious, sometimes toying with you, making you curse that you can't comfortably eat pictures.